Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness

(An article from the Mayo Clinic website)

When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger, resentment and thoughts of revenge — or embrace forgiveness and move forward.

Nearly everyone has been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your mother criticized your parenting skills, your colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. These wounds can leave you with lasting feelings of anger, bitterness or even vengeance — but if you don't practice forgiveness, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace peace, hope, gratitude and joy. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

What is forgiveness?

Generally, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. The act that hurt or offended you might always remain a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other, positive parts of your life. Forgiveness can even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you deny the other person's responsibility for hurting you, and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that helps you go on with life.

What are the benefits of forgiving someone?

Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for compassion, kindness and peace. Forgiveness can lead to:

• Healthier relationships
• Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
• Less anxiety, stress and hostility
• Lower blood pressure
• Fewer symptoms of depression
• Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse

Why is it so easy to hold a grudge?

When you're hurt by someone you love and trust, you might become angry, sad or confused. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment, vengeance and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.

What are the effects of holding a grudge?

If you're unforgiving, you might pay the price repeatedly by bringing anger and bitterness into every relationship and new experience. Your life might become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present. You might become depressed or anxious. You might feel that your life lacks meaning or purpose, or that you're at odds with your spiritual beliefs. You might lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others.

How do I reach a state of forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change. To begin, you might:

• Consider the value of forgiveness and its importance in your life at a given time
• Reflect on the facts of the situation, how you've reacted, and how this combination has affected your life, health and well-being
• When you're ready, actively choose to forgive the person who's offended you
• Move away from your role as victim and release the control and power the offending person and situation have had in your life

As you let go of grudges, you'll no longer define your life by how you've been hurt. You might even find compassion and understanding.

An Effective Way of Getting Back with an Ex

Three Reasons Why Not Contacting Her is a Very Effective Way of Getting Back with an Ex

How long have you been trying to get back with your ex? How many times have you tried and failed to win her back? If time is passing and you have had no success, your friends have probably suggested that you stop trying so hard and stop contacting your ex.

That might seem like a ridiculous plan at first! The idea that getting back together with an ex can be achieved by not trying to get her back sounds completely absurd.

But, it works.

In fact, it will often work when nothing else will get results.

Here are three of the reasons why.

1) Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

When your ex is not surrounded by the memories and conflicting emotions that come from being repeatedly in your company, it makes it easier for her to overlook the negative aspects of your relationship and see only the positives. When enough time has passed, the arguments, the fights and the petty annoyances can be forgotten.

What remains are the memories of good times and a realisation of what she misses about you and her relationship with you.

2) Time Is a Great Healer

Did things end badly between you? Were things said that should have been left unsaid? Time has its surprising way of healing wounds and mending broken hearts. It is amazing how many wounds can be healed by the passing of time. Your ex can forgive the little things and the big things –

-   even cheating.

Yes, even the hurt of cheating can be soothed by time, but you have to be ready to let the necessary amount of time pass. By being patient, you will have allowed enough time for her pain to ease.

And, the greater the hurt, the longer you will have to wait for her to forget the pain.

3) She Won’t Appreciate What She Has Lost Until It Has Finally Gone

There is an old saying – you never miss your water ‘til the well runs dry. What that truism tells us is that your ex will not understand what she has lost if you are around almost constantly.

The truth is this: she does not need to take you back if she has your support, love and friendship, without needing to return them. Take a break from her company and walk away. Then ….. wait for her to call you. There could come a day when she realises what she has lost. Only then will she be ready to contact you. Renewing the relationship has become a possibility in her mind.

There is a trick that you need to use to make this work, however. You have to be strong and disciplined when doing this. You do not have to deliberately avoid her forever but it is a good idea to keep away from her completely for a while.

Give her time and make sure she has some space. Wait long enough for her to start forgetting the bad memories and remembering the good ones. Importantly, this will also give you both the time to decide what you want from each other in your second time around relationship. When that second chance comes, you need to take time to talk to each other and make sure you have the same hopes for the future.

NOTE. It does not have to reach the point where you need to follow the advice in this article. With the help of a comprehensive and informative guide you will have a better chance of getting back together with an ex more quickly.

There are so many “how to make your ex want you back” guides available. Most of them do not give you the complete plan of action that you need.

Be warned, incomplete advice can lead to disastrous results.

I have found for you a comprehensive guide to successful “how to get your ex back” techniques. In it you will discover guidance to the complete process from start to finish. Timing is crucial, and thanks to this book, you can follow a schedule that leads you to take each specific step at the right time. Now it is your turn to act.

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Getting back with an ex

Getting back with an ex

Getting back with an ex is what “The Magic Of Making Up” is all about.

There are numerous “how to make your ex want you back“ guides available. Most of them do not give you the complete plan of action that you need.

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It is a comprehensive guide to successful “how to get your ex back techniques”. In it you will discover guidance to the complete process from start to finish. Timing is crucial, and thanks to this book, you can follow a schedule that leads you to take each specific step at the right time.

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What The Guide Aims To Achieve

The guide is designed to help you achieve four main objectives.

• The first of these is to help you understand why you and your partner broke up.
• The second is to help you stay mentally strong following the breakup.
• Thirdly, you will learn from the book how to complete an assessment of the status of your relationship with your ex as it stands.
• Fourthly, the book will help you to devise a strategy to get your ex back.

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